You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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