we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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