I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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