wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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