Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He? As in you personified your dick?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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