What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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