God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Randomize
