ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
