I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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