4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she told me i tasted like america
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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