just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
