I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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