i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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