these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
