My liver just broke up with me...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
