It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
