I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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