I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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