why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sobbing to NWA
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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