Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
