one might say we're banned from that church
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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