Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
