My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
