me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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