hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
