I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
