C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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