she looked like the before picture.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
