i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
