Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
