so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
