Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize