just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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