why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
