I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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