Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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