I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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