I CAN MOONWALK!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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