Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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