You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
