no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
These tits shall not be calmed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize