About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This house was built for laser tag.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
