On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
