this beer tastes like vomit already
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
