Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up under a house in Key West
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