wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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