dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
