OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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