Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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