wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
