I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
