why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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