I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
