I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize