I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
