just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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