Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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