this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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