I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize