I hate all girls vehemently.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do herpes really smell.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
