I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
