You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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