my sisters under your porch take her home
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So much rum. So many feels.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
