these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
