Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize