tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
