Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize