We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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