I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize